On August 27, 1989, I became someone that I never truly thought I would be, I became someone's Mom. I remember that very fine, very warm Sunday like it was today, in fact both of mine were born on Sundays. Andrew during a very hot and humid summer and Gabriella during a very, very cold and super snowy winter. I was scared shitless, truly and effectively shitless. Me and babies don't mix. Me and kids, not so great either. Babies, kids, and me, well let us say I am not the most maternal person around. While other women/girls I know get all giddy, animated, crazy, and silly around kids and babies me not so much, I don't know why, I guess it is just the way I am.
While I am not stupid crazy to think that I am one of the chosen few that feel the way I do, I am endlessly in love with Andrew and Gabriella. Never before have there been two better people ever created. They are the best of the best truly. They are what I am most proud of. They are the two best things that I have ever done. I know that I wasn't the greatest of Moms, but I tried, and I tried really, really hard.
I was given the best of role models, I have been given the most wonderful Mom, that I love with all my heart, and in my head I hear her always. Mor has given me the wisdom of the ages, and understanding that I needed. My greatest hope has always been that they were proud of me. My Mom and Mor have shown me that no matter how old your kids get, or how far away they move, they will always be in your heart. They are the best of Grandmothers.
I learned from Gram that it was ok to be indifferent. She loved in her way, and that is good with me. I knew that she was there should I have ever needed, you just did not have to be mushy, mushy.
I learned from Mrs. Gallo the gift of perseverance and resilience. She was the strongest person that I have ever known. She faced hatred, deceit, and pure unadulterated evil. She never let them win, she was a good, kind, and loving Mother and Grandmother to mine. They could not poison or destroy who she was, she stayed true. While at times she may have faltered, she rose up, collected herself, and rolled on. I could never give over because she never did. I would never want to shame her.
No comments:
Post a Comment