To proclaim from the start that the

I spend a goodly amount of space on this blog telling stories about growing up in the house on 92nd Street, I firmly believe that we had probably the best family to come up in.  We did fight an awful amount, especially Kiki and me, but at the end of the day, I would lay down my life for her, and I know that she would take care of mine as if it was her own.  Johnny, Kiki, and me were good together, we had fun together, from hanging out playing in the street, to riding motorcycles in the sand at Gerritsen Beach on Sundays, went on school vacations with Mor, other times with both Mor and Far, always knowing that we had to behave, manners were tantamount, holding the knife and fork was a must, being polite, doing as you were told, no fighting or arguing, and always please and thank you.

When we were home, we still had manners, but Mom was less strict, properly holding the fork and knife was a given, but we could talk, laugh, and carry on at the dinner table.  My Mom's only rule was no singing at the table, no singing, no singing.  That was the worst.  The absolute worst.  You see the radio or music was always on, and we all did a lot of singing, not very good I might add.  It was shear torture to have the music on and not be able to sing, pure torture.  When we got Jennifer, we got hit with "disco", she danced and sang "boogie, oogie, oogie" just as loud and off key as the rest of us.  When "Saturday Night Fever" was released we already knew about the BeeGees.  My Dad already had us listening to all kinds of music, we sang Barry's falsetto, sang their harmonies.  He introduced us to everything he liked, I think I was the only ten year old that knew who Petula Clark was and would woowoo him when he played her, sure we knew Frank like other kids, but no one else knew about Gilbert.  I guess it kind of explains my eclectic taste in music.

We were the only ones to have a dome, surf board, or a dog in the pool

My Dad took us all on our separate adventures, taught us many things, and probably the most important was that he loved us.  He showed us how important it was to hug it out, he is the demonstrative one, my Mom not so much. He is my dad, and nobody had a better one.

 I guess I pretty much still feel the same way.

moral of the story is to begin.....

if you needed me

I would come to you.

We were driving home from the Country on a cold Sunday night in January of '97, listening to Vince Scelsa on WNEW 102.7.  Vince always spun music that really never received any airplay on New York radio, he would play obscure tracks that I never heard, musicians that I did not know of, artists that he admired, up and coming groups, the mix of  music he played held sway over me and was always contributing to my eclectic listening repertoire.  Vince introduced me to Townes.  On this particular night he was playing homage to Townes Van Zandt, who had then just passed away.  While he played his music, I became enthralled.  Townes sang with some of the best during his all too brief life and career, inspired others, and his music was covered by some of my favorites.  From Townes I started to listen, really listen to EmmyLou Harris, Merle Haggard, and of course, Willy Nelson.  "Snowin' on Raton" will always be a favorite.  'If I needed you" would become my treasure.  It was how I felt about them and still do.  I wish I could take it all away so that they are never hurt or in pain.  I would gladly take and carry all their pain and burdens.  To make their lives nothing but sunshine and bliss.  I would do

I'd swim the seas for to ease your pain.

I know what it is like to have failed

Some of the things, ok most of the things, that I was supposed to do yesterday fell by the wayside.  I did get the few most important chores done, so while I should be contrite, I feel rested and in control.  Sure my dining, living, bedroom, bathroom could stand to be vacuumed, but I felt that it was time for us to have some time just for us, even if it was to and fro.  I suggested we take a ride.  I was met with a grand smile and that made me feel that this was the right thing for us to do.

The birds were let out of the cage, given a dose of rocket fuel, and we were on our way.  I love the ride, the air, the peace that somehow overtakes me when I ride my bike.  It does wonders to the soul.   When you try to explain the feeling, I am at a loss.  I do know that the feeling has never changed, the butterflies are still there, the anticipation is all that it is cracked up to be, and the peace I feel is a welcome refuge.  It may not be the same for everyone but it is this way for me.  For as long as I remember I have had the butterflies, from when I was really small riding in front of my Dad on his '67 Triumph, then the '68 Yamaha, then finally riding the Honda 50 all by myself at 8.  As I have gotten older I never stopped riding, it is something I need to do, I need to ride, I love to ride, and it does in some way make me who I am.  Riding a motorcycle may not be for everyone, let's face it, riding a motorcycle makes you vulnerable in more ways than one, you can be hurt, killed, and even judged.

The little ones were glad to see us, and the smile on her face was worth everything.  They are wonderfully supportive and kind.  The genuine empathy is astounding and the desire to help is most heartfelt.  I don't know if I will ever me able to thank them enough. 

I didn't take a picture of them for their first ride of the season, the camera batteries were dead.  I haven't been observant about what has been going on around me,  I was amazed at what I have missed in the past couple of weeks trees, bushes and flowers growing and blooming, but I am looking forward to a bright future filled with love, peace, and happiness. 

With the whole world looking on

just let me hold you while you're falling apart

Long, long before I ever met you, I was hopelessly in love with you.  Then I met you and I fell deeper in love, I looked at you and knew that you would be mine forever.  When I thought that I could not possibly love you more, I realized that my love for you was beyond all.

I promised myself that I would always take care of you, watch over you, and protect you.  Someday you will leave, no matter how far you go, I am with you.  I will always be with you.  Just give me your weight it is no burden I promise, just let me take care of you.

Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down








thanks RT for the words

I will provide for you

It hit me a few years ago that whenever I left the house to go hang out, my parents had no way of really knowing where I truly was.  I know that when I left the house I said I was going to hang out, with a vague statement about where I would be.  I would have been hanging out on the corner, in the park, sometimes at the schoolyard, or even down by Shore Road.  I was probably doing at least three things that I should not have been doing.   My Mom set a curfew and I was as punctual as a fine watch.  I figured that as long as I was on time and it was all good.

That worked for me until we had kids......I really don't know how my Mom did it.

I guess it is about letting go and hoping that you taught them well. 

I'll stand by your side

with trunks of memories still to come

I would love to say that I spent the nicest week of the year so far enjoying the fresh Spring air, but if I did I would probably start to cough and hack up a lung.  I wheeze like a 10 pack a day habit.  I have been waylaid, ambushed, and accosted by an upper respiratory infection.  

I missed awesome growth in the yard, flowers and shrubs have really started to bloom.   Last Saturday the daffodils were just peeking above the soil and one week later the are healthy, hale, and full of beauty. 

The tulips are breaking some serious ground and my birthday bush is starting to peep green.  Andrew's Forsythia is almost, almost flowering.  I think there is more than one kind of Forsythia, because a neighbor that has the longest row, has some blooming, some near, and ready to bloom in two weeks. 

The glory of the demesne is showing her beautiful life. 

I was reminded that it is time to start the garden.  I am looking forward to that, well not the weeding, it is time to decide what to grow.   Tomatoes, I want tons of tomatoes, of every variety and color.  Eggplant, zucchini, and squash should round it out.  Maybe some string beans.

We have been adjusting to life without multiple dogs, and let me say that it is wonderful from a vacuuming standpoint.  The amount of dog fur/hair was incalculable, there was a major significant amount of hair going on inside of this house that needed to be sucked up.  When we lost Sadie, the hair situation improved only negligibly.  So when the kids moved out and took Skazi with them, it was almost nirvana.  Buddy and Chico do shed, but not a crazy amount and now that it is only Chico, who does a lot of sleeping, there is no fur that constitutes constant vacuuming.  Now that we have been elected to take care of Luna, well she comes with a whole bunch different concerns.  Her dander makes us both sneeze, but her fur effects Andrew much more.  Also, the litter box, not my favorite thing by any stretch of the imagination.  She is de-clawed and she loves to go outside.  Luna pesters Andrew continuously to go out.  I think the funniest thing is how utterly silly you feel about being outside with a cat on a leash.  One stands there like a happy idiot as she meows and crawls around almost on her belly.  Luna makes herself very noticeable by rolling all over the sidewalk and curb.  I have never seen a cat wanting to get dirty, she just wants to roll, twist, then climb into the shrubs and bushes to eat the birds.....she is not successful in the bird eating department but I think she would love to get her paws into a poor little bird.  It doesn't help matters in that we both say to her while she is laying in the window "do you want to eat them birdies"?

Oh, and yes she is a beggar. 

we found things to do in stormy weather
 

when I count my blessings

I don't know what happened to March, time just keeps going forward so quickly, months fly by in the blink of an eye.  I am not liking it.

But it is Spring, and I love the Spring.  It is the time for birth, rebirth, and growth. 

and you're mine for always