171, 318, 6801, 92, and 45.....

I give over.  I know who my favorite person to be with is, and I know where my favorite place to be is.  It is one in the same.  It is where I want to be, it is where I belong.

Sometimes we have to go the long way around to be back to where we began.  We sometimes take people for granted and assume that they will always be there, waiting for us to return from a journey that we thought that we needed.  Problem is that what we were looking for, we already had. We need to put right what was rent asunder.  To begin again, where we were first, the calm before the tempest.  The time back to where we began before we got lost.  It is like seeing the sun after a storm, the air is clean and clear.  We begin with fresh feelings and have the treasure trove of the memories that bind us together,  we learn to forgive and learn that we all have faults, cracks, breaks that need to heal to become better.  Better together.  We become new....

We have had and will continue to have the best of days, and those days will roll into months, and months to years, years to decades.....

back where it all begins.....

Here's a penny for any thought it is....

What a wonderful weekend this turned out to be.  It was loaded with Birthdays....Gabriella's on the 20th, Glenette and Anthony's today the 23rd. 

My Mom and Dad left to go home yesterday.   Andrew and I had a nice evening together.  We made shrimp for dinner.  Glenette popped in to say hi, and had some shrimp with us.  Donna came by earlier, but I couldn't rope her into having a little something-something.  Gabriella went to the Danish Restaurant in TriBeca with Vincent, Anthony and Dawn.  Dawn and Anthony are Vincent's parents.  That was very kind of them to take her there. 

It is so nice outside.....My tulips gave up the ghost, so I clipped them, and will put them up so that maybe they can be planted in the fall.  I don't know though, cause I'm thinking they were forced.  I'm going to hope that they might come back.

I'm really enjoying the most beautiful weather outside.  It is just so nice to have the big front door open, I decided that since it is so beautiful that we could take a ride on our bikes, but then I got a gander at Andrew playing with the snow, I roll my eyes at him.  Since we cannot go for a ride, I poured myself a glass of wine, went to my desk and watched a video on You Tube.  It was someone wearing a helmet cam riding the Tail of the Dragon.  I can live vicariously through someone else today.

 Yeah, it is nice out......

I am enjoying my wine, listening to tunes, and hanging with Andrew...that's what I'm talking about.

.....That makes you smile

I adore that smile.
`

If I should fall behind....

My parents came for a visit, they are going to stay for a day or two.  My Dad brought his snow rake with him to get the snow off the back porch and the garage.  The sun does not hit the back porch roof in the winter and it was really starting to pile up.  They bought me a new shovel, woohoo....

My Mom is in the mood for eggplant and good Italian sausage.  So this afternoon, after work, we are going to the pork store for sausage, and I thought we could take a ride to Wegman's for a couple of this and that.  What I do need to get is to get green or yellow peas to make Split Pea Soup.....yummy

I am enjoying the little warm up that we are having, hopefully, it will last.....I really do need this winter to stop already.

My very lovely tulips are done, I miss them and their cheerfulness...what I really would not mind is to see the little crocuses outside, but I can't see the any of the garden, the snow is at least 18" high there.
So my very little bit of spring has come to an end.  Maybe some fake tulips would solve this.  In HomeGoods they had some really beautiful faux yellow tulips in a vase with faux water.  I thought they were outrageously expensive, so I did not get them.  I am going to ask my Mom.  She knows all about stuff like that. 

They were beautiful, they brightened my days, and made me feel warm and fuzzy......Thank you, Andrew for them. 

We are going to dry them and put them in peat, hopefully, when we plant them in the fall, they will come back next spring.  Just thinking about that makes me smile.

...wait for me

it was 20 years ago today.....

Sargent Pepper did not teach me how to play, Gabriella was born.  It all went by in the flash of an eye, but sort of slow motion like.  Twenty years, holy good crap, I can't believe it. Why does it seem like it was not even 20 years ago that Kiki was upset that she was 20, not a teenager any more.  Phew, where has it all gone. 

I loved, loved, loved being pregnant with Gabriella, she was sooo easy, I did a lot of waddling, but she was truly amazing to be pregnant with.  In Utero she was a mover, she would roll, stretch, run, kick, hop, and try to come out, even though she was far from ready.  When I was pregnant with her, I was starving from the moment I woke, to the moment I had my nap, we all napped everyday, til we went to bed, I was hungry.  Thank goodness Andrew was preggers too, cause he got a belly too....Her big brother, Andrew, was amazed at my belly, he was great when I was pregnant too.  Then again, he was an easy kid, when you got his deal.  Socks, belt, vest all had to be just so.  Always neat and tidy, and very quiet.  Gabriella......not so much

Gabriella is my beauty realized....She is beautiful, kind, loving, and sweet.  She is sunshine on a cloudy day, I see Mor in her eyes, my Mom in her creativity, and I see my Mother-in-Law in her vulnerability.  She has compassion, understanding, and empathy.  I love that child more than you could ever imagine.  I love my children far more than I could have ever, ever, ever thought possible.  Yeah, she has her pitfalls like everyone, but she is mine, and I love her.  Her Daddy, Andrew, would let her run through the malls, screaming like a banshee, he would put her in her jumpy-jump thing that hung from the ceiling with a lolly-pop, uck she was sticky, sticky, sticky....ewwww she was sticky, she was always sticky......I hate sticky, yuck sticky.....Little And would just look at her with the face of yuck, he hates sticky, he really hates sticky....and she just did not care....

She was the skinniest thing, but when she started to eat, she ate EVERYTHING.....Gabriella would and still does eat everything, always one to be open to try something, she would try anything.  Her brother the opposite.

She has grown, grown, grown....and today is her birthday.  She was born on a Sunday, we had a very, very, cold and snowy winter, just like this year, and I have loved being her Mother since the night we made her.....I love you

I love you...Belli

My baby girl is twenty....yeah

Happy Birthday Beauty.  I love you.....

dead flowers....

I was just listening to music..what a shock, what a surprise..."Dead Flowers" the Rolling Stone's attempt at country music.  It is a great version of the song, there have been quite a few covers of the song, my favorite, Willie Nelson...I love the way Willie covered it.  I think that I have the song on some of my playlists, that reminds me, I need to find my 3G iPhone, I have no more room on my nano.  The problem with the 3G is that the screen is cracked really bad.  I want to use it on my bike.  I have a 12 CD player in the tour pack, but I never use it.  I even have an extra 12 disc holder.  I like to use the iPod, making playlists is my thing....

I have been reading about gardening and planting, not that I should be touching anything that grows, I have the black finger of death.  I can direct, inform, and enlighten the one with the green thumb, what the herbs, veggies, and fruit need.  I am an equal opportunity killer.  I kill flowers, herbs, veggies, and fruits.....and electronics.  Not to mention, appliances....  I have told Andrew that we are lucky that the kids are still alive....

My very lovely tulips are still alive simply because I have not touched them, not even in the slightest.  I touched the vase to turn it, but that is about the closest I have gotten.  They are still beautiful.

It was snowing again this morning, thank goodness that it stopped. 


remember do no harm to anyone........

olive branch.....

Olives....  it is said that there is an olive tree in Italy that is 3500 years old.  They(olive trees) have been seen as symbols of tradition, they have witnessed hundreds of years of time gone by.  When our daughter was small, we would play a game about who could be quiet the longest, she would always loose, a trait she inherited from me.  There is a farmhouse on a road where we live, one evening we were driving past it playing the game, when I thought about the walls in that very old house, the laughter, tears, fears, hopes, dreams, and love that was in that house and what they were witness to.  If they could talk or somehow share what they have seen, it would give someone else the ability to witness another's  struggle, joys, fears, loss, experience.  The walls in our house are not as old, but they bear witness to the inside of our family.  They have given us shelter, warmth, much joy, sadness, and of course, love.   All of these trials make us who we are, and what we are made of.  They lay testament to how we survive and learn.

I don't care for olives, I do however love olive oil, also olive wood cooking implements, cutting boards, and serving platters.  Olive wood is also prized for it's strength, durability, and interesting grain.  When Andrew sees things made out of olive wood, the first thing he does is smell them, I look at him and see him looking at whatever it is with such joy.  I have seen him look at our children, photographs, our family, our home with the very same look.  I love that look, I truly do.  It has brought me much happiness and joy.  When he looks at me, I see that look....

The symbolism behind the olive is one of forgiveness, the branch to reach out and try to make peace.  I have that peace.  Just like the olive tree that is twisted and gnarled, so are our feelings.  We learn to make peace so that we can grow, shine and be strong....

living in the shade of the olive tree and  holding out the olive branch is my home......

that great jukebox on Route 39

Yesterday was Valentines' day.....it is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year, I don't know about that, maybe everyday should be romantic.  I know I would never get tired of being told romantic things always.....

It is Saturday morning, the day after a very sweet Valentines' day, watching Andrew sleep on the sofa, for a much needed nap.  I love to watch him sleep, it has always been a secret pleasure of mine.  If I wasn't married to him, I could be arrested for being a stalker.  Last night we stayed home and had a small dinner and watched "Shameless", we missed a few episodes, so we had a mini-marathon.  It is super special to get to be alone, totally alone, with him.  We ate a couple pieces of chocolate.

Snow....it is snowing again.....yuck, yuck, yuck...

I hope that it doesn't amount to much, tonight we are going to a dinner dance for cancer.  We are going with Kiki, Anthony, Johnny, Deborah, Carol, and Mike.  I think that Kiki said that Vicki & Victor are going also.  She told me it was like going to a wedding except that nobody is going to get married, and you give a gift.  I am happy with that, I love weddings, all weddings.  There is a newness, hope, love, and anticipation for the future.

So hold me close honey say you're forever mine.................

you better think first.....

It has been a long busy day.  We had snow, ice, rain, and now more snow.  I shoveled, helped push a car out of a spot.  I think that I need to find my bed.

The guys that drive the plows are really terrific, they truly are.  They did a great job, as usual, clearing up the street on the side and the front of our house.  Yesterday, they came by in the morning with the backhoe and bucket and cleaned all the snow from both corners.  I gave them apples and water.  Today, I made them sandwiches, cookies, and water.  Let's face it, you get more with honey.

After we finished, we came inside, took showers, fed the dogs, and then had some NY Strip steaks on the grill with Chipolte Sweet potatoes.

I am having mad problems with this computer.

In the grand scheme of things, I have been truly blessed, I have a husband that loves me, fantastic kids, a wonderful set of parents, and some pretty awesome siblings, my brothers-in-law, and few true friends,   There will always be snakes in the grass, and you, unfortunately, have to find the difference.  I have always tried to find the good.  In the immortal words of T, "I have a lot of appliances, but only a few friends".  Thank you for that.  There are a few people that are true. 

with every wish......

hey that's me...

Here we go again.....

Another snow storm.  I really am tired of this stuff.  It just doesn't want to let up.  I packed Andrew's stuff this morning, made him his coffee, while he started the truck, and took out the dogs, Chico does not like to be outside at all now, and he does not want to be alone, being with Buddy simply does not cut it.  He wants either Andrew or me to be with him.  He got lost underneath the dining room table, all I heard him doing was banging into the chair legs, it made me think of "Tommy", the pinball wizard, you know, deaf and blind.  He does not like if you try and pick him up, he growls and tries to nip you.  He is getting more ornery by the day.

After Andrew left, I made myself a cup of coffee, went into the family room for my camera,  I took a couple of pictures, then I went back into the family room to go online to read the paper to see what is going on in the world around me.  I really did not to get that far because I watched "Camille" with Greta Garbo.  Was she ever beautiful.  I did, however, load the pictures up on the computer.  When I stood up about an hour or so later, I could not believe how much snow had fallen already.  The snow has really been coming down.

My tulips are helping me hang on.  They are so happy sitting on the dining room table.  If I could figure out how to make the camera automatically take pictures of the every hour, I am sure that you can see them grow.

The picture is a little fuzzy because I did not want to use the flash, and I was shaking a bit.

After "Camille", I went to make a cup of coffee, and took a few more pictures, the snow is really, really coming down....

Look at the snow, it just keeps coming down....my tulips, are the third happiest entity in this house.....

I know that I should put them in the fridge at night so that they last a little longer.

The neighbor's stoop is invisible.  The snow has changed to rain, hopefully, the temperature will continue to rise and some of this stuff will melt.

there's magic in the night