and I say yes

I love Saturdays, I really do.  I love to get up on a Saturday morning come downstairs, open the big front door, turn on the coffee pot, give the cat a little food(her meowing at me is what drives me out of bed), put my glass in the dishwasher, grab mugs, and then I open the big back door.  It really doesn't matter that I do the same thing every morning, it just feels better on a Saturday.  Watching my cooking shows is one of my bad habits, I have more than a few very bad habits. 

We have working on the kitchen, yeah big news there, and it finally seems like the end can almost be seen.  I have arranged, rearranged, unarranged, dearrarranged, rerearranged so much it has my head spinning.  It seems that I have less room, more space, less stuff, and no flow.  It is the flow that I am having the most trouble with.  I just can't seem to get it right.  I really think I need one of those people who come into the house to help you arrange things.  I have been purging like no one's business and yet, no flow.  I don't get it.  I think I have to stop having "back-ups".  My back-ups have back-ups.  Also, I need to stop saving for good.  Someone once told me that I need to stop saving stuff, use it, if it breaks then worry.  There is no point in saving something and never using it.  I am trying to work on this, it may take some time, but I am working on it.  Then I think, could you imagine someone coming in here, seeing my back ups times six, then the next thing you know is that the people the the Hoarders' show show up.  Yeah, cause I really need that. 

I know I am not the only one.

the picture to remind us

For a goodly portion of last night sleep eluded me.  I was awake again in the small hours before sunrise, I was caught in my thoughts and they were not letting me go.  So much has gone.  So much change.  So many things will never be the same.  Gone is the easiness of being.  It has been replaced by an unknown feeling.

When I looked at the marble, I should have seen.  Maybe I was afraid that if I looked at it I would see that it no longer was what I thought it was.   That it never was.  Maybe I was afraid I wasn't who I thought I was.  I see now that I wasn't.



true love will never fade

Down to one

I was given the task of sharing this coming Friday my favorite song and the why of it.  I have been whittling down my music since last Friday past, cause you know this is one assignment I am all over, no hesitation whatsoever.  There has been major thought going into this endeavor, I have close to 8,000 songs.  I have gotten it down to 75.  That in my book is a major feat.

And it's all good

Give me one reason

They, I really don't know who "they" are, say before you can love someone else you have to love yourself.  They also say that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else.  I had never agreed with with that before, now not so much.  I can't put the oxygen mask on my child before I put it on me.  I need the oxygen in order to save them.  I have to be able to love me before I can love.  It may seem simplistic and even  a bit selfish, but it is the truth.

And I'll turn right back around

Stellaluna

It is Black Cat Appreciation Day......or Adoption Day


I decided to post pics of our kitty.....

We think that she could be half a bat...

Don't wait up for me

They say the worse thing you can do to yourself is to stay stuck.  To ruminate.  Go over and over.  Take every word, action, response, and dissect them for meanings.  Sometimes the answer is no answer.  An answer that will never satisfy what you need to understand.  Sometimes there is no understanding or comprehension.  You must just accept and move on.  For yourself.




It's going to be a long walk home

Forks on the left

As a parent, I have found my Mom speaking from my mouth instructing my kids the proper way to use and hold a knife and fork, they each had their own utensils.  Andrew and Gabriella had been taught how to use a knife and the proper way to hold a fork.  They both know how to set the table.  I am going to say that I have this major big habit, and it is not good, I watch the way people hold their forks, hold a knife while cutting, and whether or not they switch their fork after cutting.  I find myself wondering if some people have always held a spoon like it was a shovel or pick up a piece of meat with their fork and bite at it.  I think are they going to teach their kids that?  I really have to stop looking.

I am going to have to work on this flaw.......


In my youth, I was never mindful of other kids table manners because, in truth, I don't really remember sitting at a table eating with any.  Sure there was the few cousins or our parents' friends kids that we sat and ate with, I remember the giggling and laughter, but I don't remember them holding silverware.  The only kids I truly remember dining with were my grandparents friends' offspring.  There was Henry. We never got to sit at the big table on Christmas Day as Henry did, but then again we did not speak Danish either.  He was never a real boy anyway, Henry would not play any games with us, he was way above us.  He had a beard at like 7, no joke, Henry graduated Princeton at 14, was a professor at 16, so no he was never a kid.  Henry's parents were Jutta and Fred.  Fred was just the sweetest.  Sure he was inebriated just as everyone else was, but he was always the happiest and friendliest.  Mor always said that Fred was dumb as a stump, but was the best person in the whole world.  Jutta was a wonderful cook and she could make a chocolate cake to die for.  It was from Jutta that Henry got his smarts from.  We were well behaved at Mor and Far's house.  I know that we respected them too much to be otherwise.  Then there was Emmy and Leif's grandkids. There was three of them and they had a Kiki too.  All of us were about the same age.  We spent a couple of weeks each year in the summer together in the country.  Just grandmothers and kids.  We went on day trips together, played games, ate at the table together, and they had the same manners as us.  The big major difference between us and them was we were rough and tumble, dirty and sweaty, and they were plaid and preppy.  They wore white and we had dirt rings around our ankles.  We swam in the creek and that was  beneath them.   I often wonder if Mor wanted us to be like more like them and less like us.  I guess I should have asked her.