questions, answers, and statements....

Do you sometimes act or feel like a turtle?  I never thought about it until I read someone comparing themselves to a turtle.  Think about it....when you are afraid, lost, or sad, we, and I mean me, crawl back into myself to self soothe.  I know I do this.  Just like a turtle.

Frank and Claire, have something truly wonderful, I love their comfort and trust in one another.  While I abhor their Machiavellian schemes, their oneness is almost infallible.  Infidelity.  I believe that it is wrong, wrong for me.

Ignorance.  That depends on what one is ignorant about.  Sometimes it is bliss.

Questions that can never be answered.  Statements that are bold.  Hate never checked. 

too heavy

Today we got ice-rain-hail-sleet dumped on us here, a little north, it would have been snow.  I don't know if that is good or bad.  I went outside to shovel the ice crap mixture that is on our sidewalks, thinking that I would rather have me down and out than having Andrew hurt.  I don't think that makes me a good wife, person or anything I just figured that in my quest to be the person I want to be, it would be the right thing. 

Well in the immortal words of Roseanne Roseannadanna, "I thought I was gonna die", that crap was heavy, I had major problems lifting in it.  I used two different shovels, the metal round  one that looks like the front of an old fashion bob sled, and the heavy black/yellow plastic one.  I did most of it, but truth be told, I could not do anymore.  I left some for Andrew.  I feel bad. real, real bad for leaving any for him. 

I have been thinking about North Carolina......and this

But then I heard noise outside, that made me go and look.  What I saw made me smile.  He makes me smile. 

Andrew and I have been together for almost 35 years.  I look forward to 50 more....

Snow, snow, snow, and happiness

When you look out the windows of our house, you see a giant beautiful mess.  Mother Nature choose to dump 10 inches of snow on us.  This snow is great packing snow, wonderful for making snowmen, snowballs, and our kids' favorite, igloo snow.  It is the worst snow to shovel, it is back breaking, heavy, and dense.  I spent far too much time taking pictures, but I can say that I also spent a whole lot of time talking, shoveling, and smiling....

Life is good, very, very good....




I

which makes fair gifts fairer.....

I was trying to figure out how to fix an application this morning on my iMac, I have been trying to fix this for the longest, but to no avail, I could not figure it out.  Well, I tried this and that, that and this, and never could I get it.  I finally tried the thing that I thought would fix it, but I was always afraid to do it, fearing of loss.  Lo and behold, I tried it, and it did not work.  In doing what I thought  would fix it,  I got rid of some files that I saved, I saved them because I thought I needed to, I thought that I needed to keep alive what they contained and what they meant.  I did not need to keep them, I did not need to keep the reminder of my past mistakes, and I have made a few.  I thought that if I kept them, kept the documents for the badges I wear, then one day, somehow, someway I could find the why and reason, I could make sense, but sadly, I will never know.  There was plenty of hurt, pain, and mistakes.  But there were never any resolutions, just feelings and emotions stored, and left to fester.  Nothing ever righted, there was no healing, no future, only regrets, only the past.

It is past time, way past time, time to go.....

I want today, tomorrow, and forever......

Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none

....It is snowing and Monday happy, happy, joy, joy (NOT)

Here we go again.  Snow, snow and more snow.  Just when all the other snow was gone, winter rears it's ugly head again.  Last night, the crawl on the news channel started to list the schools in our area that were going to be closed.  Our kids would have been thrilled to have the day off.  Growing up there was nothing better than a "snow day".

Today, I am having a "snow day"....  I got up this morning, packed Andrew's lunch, made myself a cup of coffee, got my camera, and started to take pictures of the snow.

I love to take pictures.  Andrew, Andrew, and Gabriella have always been my favorite subjects.  When Kiki and Anthony had Dylan, we added him to the favorites too.  I have taken more bad pictures than one could imagine.  Truth be told, I have taken some pretty amazing pictures.  I have always preferred my 35mm SLR.  I have gone through more film than one could imagine.  Then they invented digital, wow, did that open up a new can of worms for me.  I have had two small digital cameras, then we bought our big camera.  I use this all the time.  It is probably my favorite.

A bonus for today's snow is the temperature, it's 32 degrees out, not cold, not cold at all.  I just came in from taking some pictures, and Andrew came home, so now the snow day begins....yeah, baby....

What a great day.....I know that we will....

 

Truths......

 I know this to be absolutely true...

because this is me on my 2001 Screaming Eagle Road Glide....

and this is my girl after one of these rides

bug guts, lots and lots of bug guts.....

There is something about riding your bike that gives you clarity, sets everything to rights, and gives you some semblance of how your life, wants, needs are to be met, and how to accomplish the goals that we and others have set for each of us.

I have spent the last 34 years on the tips of my husband's exhaust pipes, trying to emulate his superior riding skills, chasing the dream and loving absolutely every mile of the merry trek he has lead me on, letting him know that no matter what, where, and when, I would always have his back. Marriage is like that long twisty road. sometimes you can't see what is coming at you but you have to keep your eyes on where you want to go, downshift and lean into the turns, draw from what you have learned, and throttled up through the turn...... 

Winter riding....

After I read the paper this morning, I clicked  on the little bell on the top right hand side of the page that tells you that someone posted something on the pages that you follow, well this morning one was Women Motorcycle Enthusiasts.  It was about riding in the winter.  Yes, I have ridden my bike here in the northeast in the winter, I was born, raised, educated, employed, married, had children, in Brooklyn, NY.  We were 34,  before we made the move to New Jersey.  Culture shock indeed.

When I was a kid my Dad would take us to Gerritsen Beach, we would ride our motorcycles on the sand dunes, along the water, and on the track.  It was idyllic.  Until of course, the cops would come.....We rode there in the winter on Sundays, that was our family's version of church.  It was cold, yeah it was cold.  Growing up in the 1970's, they did all kinds of things to start to save energy, they switched around our school hours, and gave us a holiday week in February, cancelled school and called it "Energy Conservation Week", it was great, really, really great.  My Grandmother, Mor, would take Johnny, Kiki and me to the "Country" for the week, it would always be cold and snowy, we would ride our motorcycles in the snow, Mor would take pictures, and it was grand.  So I can say that, yes I have ridden in the winter and it was great.....

We even used to ride on New Year's Day, on our Chilli Chilly Ride.  But nothing has ever prepared me for the coldest ride I have ever been on.  I will say that it was not a long ride, maybe 20-25 miles, but I don't think that I have ever been so cold in my entire life, when I think about it now, still, it makes me cold.  So, here it is...I needed a rear tire on my 1984 HD Sportster XLX, yup that long ago, Anthony, my brother-in-law, had a tire from his bike that he did not need, because he put a fatter tire on his Wide Glide, Andrew and Anthony decided that the tire would work and that Anthony would put it on my bike.  We just needed to get my bike to him, so on a Saturday in December, I was to ride my bike from our house in New Jersey to Staten Island, not far, cross only one bridge, not far, not far at all.....Andrew would meet me there and we would go home together and pick up the bike when it was ready.  No worries...yeah no worries....   So on a very clear Saturday, with no chance of precipitation, tire was a bologna skin, I set off....I was dressed for this....or so I thought....  As I cruised up Route 535, then onto Route 9 North, I started to get a chill, then onto 440 I started to get cold, and by the time I was on the Outerbridge Crossing, I was freezing....I got off at Paige Avenue, cause I thought if I took the surface streets I would not be so cold, phew, yeah, right...nothing was right....it was wrong, wrong, wrong, plain and simple wrong....By the time I hit Cornelia Street on Hylan Blvd I had my hands practically on the exhaust pipes.  I was cold, too damn cold.

I finally understood, it hit me like a ton of bricks, I now knew why homeless people lit themselves on fire....  I was cold, cold, cold.  You can call me what you like, I never, ever, ever want to be that cold again.  I have not shied away from riding during the off season, but I cannot and will not ever subject myself to that again. 

So if I need to ride when it is a balmy 15 degrees out, I will put on the video of my ride on the Tail of the Dragon, put my helmet on, sit on my vanity chair, in the comforts of my family room in front of the computer and ride....nice, warm, and snugly....warm, maybe hot, yeah hot....

Hmmm......No Sleep till Brooklyn.......