Tuesday, July 8, 2014

lost soul

I never thought that I would ever meet a person as tortured and battered as her.  She broke my heart with the pain she was in and there was nothing I could have ever done to ease her plight.  She was good, kind, and right. She floated through her life almost never existing, she had no place, no home, just blood and bone, her existence was dependent someone's whim not her own.

I would find myself angry at her because I thought she could change her situation, but she chose not to.  I did not understand that she could not.  I now understand how and why she became that pitiful being, unable to live a life for herself.  There was nothingness behind her eyes.  I see those vacant eyes in my mind. and I cry desperately for her.   

I know in my heart that I could never have saved her, and yes, she needed to be saved, there was only one person that could have saved her and that was him.  She was never his priority, never his concern.  She was his burden, his cross, his albatross, his hate.  He could have saved her, and she would have healed him, and he her. Together they would have been whole, each person a whole person, because of the other.  He did not want to and I don't know why.  He should have let her go to find happiness. maybe he could have found his.  He chose instead to destroy the one good that would ever touch his life, he made his life shit, her life shit, and it turned everything he ever touched to shit.

Now she is long gone these many years, I wish she would have found peace in her lifetime, but it wasn't to be.  I will always remember her for she was one of  the good ones, truly good indeed.  

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